Say my name and hiss in the same breath...

'lo =]
I hath returned to plague the internet again, supah xD

I feel like I should describe myself a bit, because I'm generally not very good at it. It could be an experience?

I get irritated about things a lot.
People eating loudly, a girl I know throwing tantrums because she doesn't get enough attention, people assuming things about my character, my personal space being invaded. They aren't good things...

I eat stereotypes for dinner.
I go to a prestigious school, so I must be rich.  I love manga and sci-fi films, so I must be a geek. I wear eccentric clothes, so I must be scene. You want to label me? Fuck off =]

My friends are important to me.
You hurt my friend? I hurt you. I'm willing to be the bitchy person who won't shut up if it means that my friend isn't hurt. I seek revengeeeee (and there'll be a future post about that at some stage =P).

Music > Life
Fo shizzle. Writing, practicing, listening, performing, talking about music... everything. Listening wise, my iPod has everything from Chopin to Metallica, The GazettE to the Wicked soundtrack, The Beatles to Lady GaGa, and All Time Low to Blondie. I can listen to a piano concerto and switch to In Flames screaming. Wonderful =] I can't stand rap, country and sugarysweet pop, but other than that there are few areas of music that I don't like (although I do love emo/indie/alternative the most xD). If there was no music, I don't know how I would cope with life =]

I'll probably say something else at another point, but that's all I can think of right now =]
Onto a more serious topic...

On friday 3 of my friends were attacked by a group of thugs. One of my friends, Tom, is rather silly and wears a coat that makes him look like he's going to the opera etc. One of the chavs commented on it, and Alice laughed at the joke. A girl from the other group took her laughter the wrong way, and started a huge fight. It was at 10:30pm on a highstreet, and they got attacked by around 12 people (apparently there were 25 people - 10 didn't do anything, and 3 tried to break up the fight) . The only reason that my girl friend didn't get badly injured was because one guy managed to get her out of the fight, but she was spat on and punched to a wall. My other 2 guy friends weren't so lucky, and the fight was only finished because the thugs broke some plates at a nearby cafe and the manager called the police. Just over the road was a full pub with people watching. My friends are only 15/16, and on a busy highstreet, not a single person tried to help.

I'm glad that my friends weren't too badly hurt, but it's not the case for many people. Do you know anyone who's been randomly attacked? How can people sit by and let others be victimized, and not even call the police until the last moment?

Grace x

Comic relief 2009 is not so comical

So today's Comic Relief, a time where everyone in the UK dons plastic red noses and raises money for various charities in the UK and Africa. As usual, people across the country have been working hard and raising great amounts of money - but how come I feel let down by the presenters of the TV event?

Although I haven't been watching the entire event, the parts I did watch were just embarrassing. David Tennant made a fool of himself and Davina McCall made me cringe - their snog was inappropriate and wasn't pleasant to watch (the fact that they fell to the floor speaks for itself). I honestly thought that they had been drinking.

Comic Relief is obviously meant to include humor, but throughout the program there are short films promoting the various causes and charities that the money raised will go towards. A big theme tonight was malaria and how people are attempting to combat it - one film showed a young boy going into a malaria induced coma from which he never woke up from. All the films are moving; showing how bad many people's lives are, and how donations help organizations to improve their situations - one example is a counseling hotline set up for children with alcoholic parents. But with such a serious cause, why is it that the presenters acted up?

During the musical part of the event, Tennant pranced around the stage with Franz Ferdinand for no apparent reason. When the week's number one single (something random by Flo Rider?) was being performed, it showed no relevance to the event. The performers went on stage, did their number and just walked off with their entourage, not bothering to promote the event like other acts. The performance itself was also baffling. Davina and the other uninspiring woman presenter ran on stage and tried dancing like the professionals - which would have been tolerable if it weren't for the fact that they gave up and started grinding. Forgive me if I'm overreacting, but surely this isn't really appropriate behavior for an event that aims to prevent child prostitution and is watched by many children?

The comedy this year was also startling boring, and with some big names included in the acts, what was produced was disappointing. Hopefully next year will be better, but I think I'll stick with Children In Need.

So did anyone watch? What did you think?

Grace x

Deep down you're just like everybody else.

I have come to the sad conclusion recently that I don't like humanity. It's a crap thing about me (one of my many faults), but unless I know somebody, or they've made an awesome impression on me, I dislike people. Seriously, I just don't really like them slash don't feel anything about them. It's pretty pathetic =S.

I was thinking about it during a History class during the week. We're studying America during the last 70 years or so, and I have to admit, it sucks. I'm sorry America, but you have done many shitty things. The most recent indepth thing we've covered is the civil rights movement - black Americans and their (amazing) fight for basic rights. Some acts of courage amaze me; Martin Luther King's house was firebombed while campaigning for Rosa Parks, and yet he and many others continued the bus boycott - for 400 days (he then went on to become even more of an inspirational leader, as everyone knows).  And yet most of the things we've learnt just depresses me.

For example, attitudes and racism in the south were so bad that a black 14 year old boy was killed. Many people were killed, but this one case just struck despair into my heart. He was from a northern state, and was visiting some relatives. One day he went to buy some sweets from a store, and answered back to a white woman there, not realizing how different attitudes were down south. He was beaten to death by a crowd.

But the thing is, this still happens today all around the world. People are discriminated on gender, race, beliefs and appearance. Even seemingly small things, like a favourite football team causes people to be treated with violence; children being shot down in the street because of petty arguments. My mother works as an employment lawyer, and many cases she deals with are women who were pregnant and returned to their jobs to find that they no longer had one. Or people who are bullied so much by their coworkers that they are driven to depression. Is this really acceptable?

The greed of people in the world who hold power is also astonishing. Obviously there is a lot of anger at the moment about the world's economy, and who is to blame. People's obsession with money and power creates situations that affect many other people, and they don't seem to care about the repercussions. How were people allowed to abuse their positions and cause this global crisis?

I don't understand how people can think that they are better than others, or have a right to treat other people like crap. How these attitudes are created is beyond me.

So this is why my faith in humanity is nearly nonexistent. I'm not trying to place myself above anyone, or condemn every single person on this planet. I accept my flaws, and the fact that there is a lot of good in the world, as well as bad. However it is difficult to see the good when there is so much negativity.

Any thoughts? Am I just a whining pessimist, or do my thoughts have some truth in them?

Grace x

I felt compelled to call you up to say...

Ergh. It's official: I'm giving up on romance.
Yes, at the mere age of 15, I am giving up on the idea and practice of romance.
Feel free to cyberslap me, because I'm sure I sound pretentious and full of crap, but you know what? At the moment, that's what I feel like.

My previous 2 'relationships' haven't exactly been very successful. Around this time last year I was going out with a boy called Rob. He was (note past tense) lovely, however due to the fact that he is an amazing musician (cello), he had no time for me. He had to go to his weekend music school, and do concerts, and basically nothing with me. But I was fine with that, because I liked him and he constantly told me how much he loved me. When we saw each other, we didn't really 'do' anything, but we had so much in common (identical tastes in music, etc). We talked a lot about everything, and how scared we were of the future - it was nice to have someone there for once.

There was a good friend of mine, however, who also liked him. Scratch that, she 'loved' him. So after 4 months of seeing each other rarely, I broke up with him as the fact that we weren't seeing each other enough was getting to me, and my friend was unhappy. It took him a while, but he finally went out with her last summer, and then apparently claimed that he had 'loved her all along'. He dumped her on New Year's Day for the year's whore (Lily) who had been a third wheel in their relationship, and we found out a month after he started seeing her. We then found out that she went to 2nd with him within 2 weeks, which a bit out of order for my friend. So much for him then.

At around October, I met a boy called Callum, who is also lovely. We sort of liked each other, but were only pushed together by friends I suppose. Anyway, we weren't compatible which we realized quickly, so that ended within a week with nothing happening there either. The reason I mention him, is that the same friend who went out with Rob has now been going out with Callum for a few weeks. They're still going steady, but the fact that they keep making out in front of everyone is a bit disturbing. She obviously has better luck with relationships than me.

I've probably given off the impression that I'm whining and that compared to many other people I've had it easy - but it gets so fucking boring now. I'm one of the few single people in the various groups of friends I have, and when everyone couples off, it gets harder to laugh it off. My single guy friends see me as 'one of the guys', which is great. I'm fine with that, because it doesn't complicate things with them. And most of the time, I do have a fear of commitment, and I don't want a boyfriend, however even finding a 'friend with benefits' is impossible.

It feels like I am the spinster of my friends - at 15. I have just over 2 years left at secondary/high school, and obviously Uni will be better. But I'm tired of waiting and getting disappointed. As much as I've tried to change it, my relationship status is not going to change anytime soon.

At least there's always alcohol.

Grace x

Rawr. It's been a while, yeah?
Desole, but I'm lazy and I was distracted with shizzle =]

So... no more icons. My laptop died a while ago, and I lost everything. I'm sorry?
If I remember to update this, it'll be a miracle seeing as my LJ is left empty half the time. My dA account however, isn't (http://the-colour-of-grass.deviantart.com/). Ahem, shameless advertising there, sorry x]

School has been a bitch lately. I finished my mock GCSEs last month, and they were surprisingly okayish. I have to retake a history paper though, 'cos the school fucked up and gave us the wrong question paper. We were all like 'wtfx, what the hell is 'war communism'? Are we stupid, or did we really not revise that much?' during it. It was interesting.

I handed in my A level choices last week =O
Now THAT was hard. Not hard in the 'what subjects do I choose?!' way, but I had to persuade my mother to let me do Theatre Studies. In her world, any person who studies Theatre Studies for A Level will never succeed in life, and no good university will accept her. She wanted me to do Economics (of course -_-). So she's not speaking to me atm as I went ahead and chose that subject anyway. Lol. I'm going to study History, English, Music and Theatre Studies. If I'm lucky, the school will run Music Tech and I can do that as an extra one. It'll be epic XD.
The only thing I'm worried about with my A Levels is Music. I'm clueless when it comes to theory (this is what happens when I give up the violin for the guitar), so my summer is going to be spent learning music theory. But it'll be okay, I shall survive!

My love life is non-existant atm. So nothing there to talk about.
However I have had a rather rad haircut this week. It's awesome, but my mother and her boyfriend claim that I have a duck's arse stuck to my head. They think they're witty.

That's about it really. I'm don't think anyone would be interested in the scandel in my group, so I'll leave it at that.

Grace xx